Sunday, May 22, 2011

A beautiful Goof


        It was a bright wintry morning. I parked my bicycle in the college parking lot and started walking towards the main building that housed various laboratories. The mood in the air was different. Students were silent than usual. Some were cool, others were little nervous.
        The 12th board practical exams were going on. For me, it was Physics today. I had prepared well for the exam. I always loved physics unlike chemistry. Trying to look cool, I entered into the physics lab. I was just five minutes earlier. Going late to classes was usual and normal for me. But this was different – a board practical exams. A marks scoring thing. I didn't want to screw it by going late. My friends who were already there, were frantically going through their journals and discussing doubts. I always hated last minutes studying. So I didn't bother to do that. Soon the examiners appeared and exam started.
        I was happy when I read 'Newton's Law of Cooling' on the chit allotted to me. It was the simplest of all experiments. The only problem with it was it took loner time to finish than most other experiments. In this experiment, one has to boil the water to its boiling point ie 100 degrees and then allow it cool naturally. While it cools, one has to note the temperature every minute, till the water reaches room temperature. Then he has to draw the graph of those temperature readings against time, called as 'Newton's cooling curve'. A pretty simple and straight forward experiment.
        I engrossed myself into the work that I had to do. I took the water in container, boiled it to its boiling point, turned the stove off and waited as the water cooled. I took first reading as 100 at 0 minute. I also had to stir the water to obtain uniform cooling. So for next 20 minutes or so, my job was simple. - To keep stirring the water and take temp-reading every minute. Another 15-20 minutes passed. I was singing and whistling happily. Everything was going fine. Just couple more readings and I was through. At the same time something unexpected happened.
        A girl came to the wash basin near me to wash the apparatus. She was the hottest girl in the college. I couldn't resist to look at her. She also looked at me and gave me a killer smile. I couldn't believe it. She didn't know me, yet she gave me a smile. A hottest girl in the college just gave me a smile. In that euphoria, something went wrong.
        In an attempt to return her smile, I stirred wrongly. The stirrer hit the container causing it tumble down on the ground. The water spilled over on the ground. I stood there in frustration. Then I lifted the container, filled it with fresh water and started boiling it again. I had started my experiment all over again, - an experiment that was almost finished. It was just 5 minutes remaining. I took couple of readings and heard the bell ringing.
        The time was up and I was supposed to move over to do my next experiment. I didn't know what to do as I hadn't finished my first experiment. I wave of panic went through my spine. I continued what I was doing. Following minute, a guy who was supposed to take my place appeared. From his attire, he looked sincere and studious. He looked at me expectantly, hoping that I could vacate the place for him.
I said, “ I am not done yet.”.
        He looked confused. “But time is up. You have to leave. All the others have started doing their second experiment.” He was right. But I didn't know what to do. At that time an idea struck my mind.
        “Listen bro. This experiment takes a hell lot of time. I have done almost half the experiment. You continue from here and we will share each other's readings,” said I. I knew it was a bizarre idea but I had to give it a try. It was the board exam. The stakes were high.
        He looked confused and worried. “But....” He looked around for help from examiner who had just left for tea.
        Taking advantage of the situation I presses him. “It's up to you. But if you don't agree to share things, then I will have no option but to continue with experiment. I can't help.”
He took few minutes to contemplate. I could see expressions of helplessness on his face. “Okay. Give me your first readings and I will continue from there. When I'm through I will share my readings with you,” He spoke.
        “Sounds perfect,” was my eager reply. I shared my readings with him, packed my belongings and rose to leave. I even gave him a warm smile as I left for my next experiment. I wondered if this smile was better than the smile I gave to that girl who caused all this fiasco.
        I went to the table where I was supposed to do my next experiment. It was done by the same guy whom I had exchanged my first experiment. It was a simple experiment of Ohm's law. What one needed to do was to draw a circuit diagram, connect circuit as per the diagram, take readings, do simple calculations, draw result and conclusion. Pretty simple and quick one. When I looked at the circuit board, it was already connected.
        That guy who performed the experiment before me had not dismantled it. I debated over whether or not dismantle the circuit and connect it again. My mind voted against the idea. So I decided simply to check the circuit. It was a pretty good circuit, perfectly accurate. I started drawing the circuit diagram. I was too lazy to use my brain to draw it. So I simply drew it looking at the circuit connections.
        Why use your brain when someone intelligent has already used his?
        I was even tempted to use the readings that I had mugged up from my journal in case things went wrong. But I thought it might feel me very guilty.
        I don't know why I thought that the guilt of using known readings was more than the guilt of using already built circuit.
        Then I took readings and did calculations using a simple formula. They were perfect. I wrote down results and conclusion on my sheet. It took me hardly 5-7 minutes to finish the experiment. I had 25-30 minutes left and I wondered what to do in that time. It was only then I remembered about my first unfinished experiment.
        I opened my sheet of first experiment. There were two sets of readings. First set of readings which I had almost finished. Second set of readings which I had barely started. I thought for a while and realized that I didn't have to start the experiment all over again. It was matter of just couple of last readings which I could have easily predicted from the nature of graph. Besides the readings needn't be accurate. There were no calculations involved but only a graph which I knew the nature of. I decided to finish the paperwork of first experiment based on my first set of readings.
        I wrote remaining readings of that set guessing what they would be and drew a graph. It was smooth and perfect. I wrote the conclusion. Again it took me 5-7 minutes to finish the paperwork of first experiment. And there I was, ready with both the experiments and 20 minutes left.
Wondering how to kill the remaining time, I started looking around me. At the same time, the examiner entered the hall. He was back from his tea break. He spotted me, sitting idle and looking around. He approached me.
        “Need any help?” He asked me in a low voice. He probably thought I was stuck with something.
“Oh, no. I am good. I am through with both the experiments,” I replied.
He looked at me suspiciously. Maybe I didn't look bright enough to finish so early. He browsed my sheets. With a smile he said, “Excellent. Why don't you submit your sheets and leave? No point in waiting. Go home and study for next exam.”
        “Fine,” I said and rose. I submitted my sheets, collected my belongings and started walking out of the hall. As I reached the door, the guy who was doing 'Newton's law' spotted me and stopped me.
        “What happened?” There was a mixture of worry and confusion on his face.
        “I am done and I'm leaving.”
        “What do you mean by done? Don't you want my readings?” He whispered.
        “No. I have finished both the experiments.”
        It took him couple of seconds to realize what I was saying. He looked at me suspiciously. Then slowly he said, “okay. But I can still use the readings that you gave me?”
        “Yes, sure.” I said. He sighed with relief.
        “Thanks buddy. In fact you were right. This is a big experiment. I couldn't have possibly done it alone. Your idea of sharing the experiment and readings were good,” he said.
        “Anytime,” I replied, trying to sound cool. Then I turned to leave.
        “By the way, can we stay closer for Chem practicals too? Maybe we could do some sharing there as well.” He was obsessed with idea of sharing things, I concluded.
        “Why not? See you tomorrow at Chem lab,” said I with a mischievous smile and left the lab.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Kiss


“What? You kissed a girl in public?”
“Yes.”
“Wow! That’s great.”
“What’s great in it? She slapped me after that. Then and there. It all happened because of you.”
“What? That’s ridiculous! How come it happened because of me?”
“You told me to kiss her.”
“Yeah. But I didn’t say to kiss her in public.”
“You never mentioned anything about where to kiss her. How am I supposed to know?”
“God! You are supposed to use your brain. C’mon! Who kisses a girl in public in India?”
“Richard Gare did. Mika kissed Rakhi in public. They both did it on camera.”
“Yeah. But they are celebrities. They do it to boost their popularity. When they do it, it becomes sensation. When guys like you and I do it, they get slapped.”
“Okay………. Now I feel awful.”
“Don’t worry. Tell me in detail what happened.”
“As you told me, I asked her out for lunch. She agreed. We went downstairs in the canteen. We were standing in a food coupon line. She was standing ahead of me. I asked her to turn around and when she did, I kissed her.”
“My God! You are a one audacious bastard. You kissed a girl in a canteen full of people?”
“Yes. Then she slapped me and strode upstairs. I stood their alone for some time. All people in canteen were looking at me. Then I went upstairs too. She hasn’t spoken to me since then. What am I supposed to do now?”
“Hmmmm…………..Good question. Did you try to talk to her?”
“Yes. She wouldn’t respond. People in her cubical started looking at me strangely. Then I left.”
“Hmmmm…………..I wouldn’t blame them. Now do as I say. Ping her on chat and apologize to her. And this time don’t use your brain. Do exactly as I say. You will ping her and first thing you will do is to ask her apology.”
“She tastes great.”
“What?”
“She tastes great. When I kissed her I noticed that her lips are luscious.”
“Dude……..You are not supposed to say that.”
“Why not? You are my best friend.”
“Hmm……Okay….Thanks. I am flattered. Now do as I told you and let me know what happens. Bye”
“Bye.”

*********************************

“Hello.”
“I apologized to her.”
“Good. What did she say?”
“She said a lot of things. I didn’t understand much of it. But I think she didn’t like that I kissed her in canteen. She scolded me very much. But in the end she forgave me.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah! Then I asked her if I could kiss her in private.”
“Gosh! What?”
“Yeah”
“But I clearly told you not to use your brain.”
“Yeah, you did. But I didn’t know what to say to her after she forgave me. You didn’t tell me that. So I asked her about this and she agreed.”
“What? What did you just say?”
“She agreed?”
“Do you mean that she agreed to let you kiss her privately?”
“Yes.”
“Un-freaking-believable. Are you sure you pinged her and not someone else?”
“Dude…………………?”
“Okay…….Okay…….”
“So she is coming to my house this weekend.”
“That’s.................…...great.”
“Now I want to know what I am supposed to do and how I am supposed to do it.”
“Hmmmm……...”
“So tell me how I should go ahead with this.”
“Well……..Honestly, I think we should go by your instincts.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you should trust your instincts. This time we will not have any plan. You will do exactly what you feel like doing from your inside at that time.”
“It sounds kind of cool.”
“It IS cool.”
“But are you sure about trusting my instincts?”
“Very much. I am damn sure you can do it.”
“Thanks buddy. You are my best friend. I love you.”
“You bet I am……Just let me know what happens. Bye.”
“Bye.”

*********************************

“Hello.”
“Dude, I pulled it off.”
“That’s wonderful! Tell me. Start from the beginning.”
“As promised she came over to my place on Sunday afternoon. Then we talked, we watched TV, I showed her my DVD collection, we listened to songs. Then we decided to have tea. She prepared it. Tea was nice. She prepared tea daily. She also told me her secret recipe of preparing tea. You have to pour milk before water and…………”
“God… Skip the recipe.”
“Okay. Yeah. So after tea, we were seated in silence. Then I moved closer to her. She didn’t say anything. Then I took her hand in my hand. She didn’t protest. After a minute or two I leaned over her and as I was about to kiss her, damn door opened and my parents entered into the room.”
“What the ****?”
“That’s exactly what I said in my mind. I had completely forgotten that my parents were to visit me this Sunday evening.”
“Then what happened?”
“They were standing still, looking at us strangely. Before they could ask me anything and before I could understand what I was saying, I blurted out that I was proposing to her.”
“WHAT?”
“You heard me. This is what happens to me when I get nervous.”
“Then?”
“Then I knelt down and I proposed to her. I told her that I loved her very much and that I wanted to marry her. And guess what? She said yes.”
“O My God! That’s unbelievable and amazing and incredible.”
“Indeed, it is.”
“I just can’t believe that you got engaged to her.”
“Me neither. But it’s true.”
“So how do you feel?”
“I feel light and relaxed. I feel like I am the happiest person in the world.”
“That’s great. So what happened next?”
“As soon as she said yes, my parents clapped, came over to us and hugged us. Then we decided to go out to celebrate. We first went to jewelry shop and bought us engagement rings. Then we went to pizza hut. Boy! Pizza was delicious. They have different variety of……….”
“Yeah, I have been there. Cut it off.”
“Okay. Then we watched a movie, dropped her off at her place and came back to my place.”
“Hmmmm…….”
“On the way to pizza hut, I told her that the idea of kissing was yours.”
“What? You were not supposed to tell her that. Now she must be mad at me.”
“No, she isn’t. In fact she thinks that it’s the idea of kissing that brought us together. So she said she was grateful to you.”
“That’s fantastic. I am happy for both of you.”
“Thanks buddy. It all happened because of your help. You are my best friend. In fact, you are my bro.”
“Hahahahaha……That’s right. We are bros.”
“So where do you think I should go for my honeymoon?”
“O God! I am hanging the phone. Go to bed. Bye.”
“Hahahaha……..Goodnight bro.”

The End
*********************************
A KISS
(a fictionist, conversational, short story)
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