Don't touch me

Well, that's what hard liquors are going to say if you are below 25. Maha Government has raised legal age of alcohol consumption from 21 to 25. While you cannot have hard drinks if you are below 25, you can still have beer if you are above 21. Now technically, two bottles of beer cause same alcohol consumption as three pegs of hard drink.

In India, the minimum age for voting is 18, the legal age of marriage for men is 21 and for women it is 18. Now if a person can decide who should run the country at the age of 18 and if he is capable of taking marital responsibilities at the age of 21, why can't he drink hard liquor at 21?

Though the intention of government behind this new rule is good (which is to reduce alcohol addiction among the youngsters), the steps taken seem inappropriate. They should have raised taxes on liquor, increased scrutiny on liquor shops licenses, started awareness campaigns, etc.

Also I don;t think it's governments job to guide the society morally. It's the job of society itself. If government starts doing morality checks, they will end up in losing the focus from important things they are supposed to do.

Also implementation of this new rule seems to be a problem. I wonder how they are going to check if the person is above 25. It looks like youngsters will have to carry their birth date proof with them when they go to purchase liquor. Let's see how things unfold. I have no worries though. I am above 25. :)

Memory and Concentration

                 Memory! Memory!! Memory!!! My memory is treacherous to me. I am having difficulty in remembering things. Well, it hasn't happened in  day. But the severity has increased in last couple of months. I could never remember name of people. Well, not of my close friends. But of people I have met just couple of times. I even joke about this. It goes like this - I would even forget my own name if people stop calling me by my name. I have started wondering if it's a joke or fact. :)
                 I mean I'm just 28 (It's another thing that I look 22. :) ) and I'm having trouble remembering information. Preciously speaking, English words. I wanted to build up my English vocabulary, so I started reading books. I used to note down new words and find their meaning. Now I expect myself to remember these words and their meaning. Now what happens is that when I encounter the same word after some days, I surely remember that I know the meaning of that word but can't recollect it. It has been happening for quite a while. I'm frustrated.
There is another thing -Concentration. I was never a good concentrator. Even this sentence is overrated. I should instead say- I'm one of the worst concentrator. I have great difficulty in concentrating. This had created problems in my school and college class life. It's another thing that I couldn't care less about it. :) I get distracted very easily. I don't know if, as a kid I was hyperactive or something. But I think this 'poor of memory' and 'lack of concentration' go hand in hand. They are connected. I don't remember things because I don't grasp them with enough concentration. If my concentration improves, my memory might show better results. At least I would be able to remember my own name. I'm waiting for an elixir on both. Do you have any? :)

A beautiful Goof

        It was a bright wintry morning. I parked my bicycle in the college parking lot and started walking towards the main building that housed various laboratories. The mood in the air was different. Students were silent than usual. Some were cool, others were little nervous.

        The 12^th board practical exams were going on. For me, it was Physics today. I had prepared well for the exam. I always loved physics unlike chemistry. Trying to look cool, I entered into the physics lab. I was just five minutes earlier. Going late to classes was usual and normal for me. But this was different – a board practical exams. A marks scoring thing. I didn't want to screw it by going late. My friends who were already there, were frantically going through their journals and discussing doubts. I always hated last minutes studying. So I didn't bother to do that. Soon the examiners appeared and exam started.

        I was happy when I read 'Newton's Law of Cooling' on the chit allotted to me. It was the simplest of all experiments. The only problem with it was it took loner time to finish than most other experiments. In this experiment, one has to boil the water to its boiling point ie 100 degrees and then allow it cool naturally. While it cools, one has to note the temperature every minute, till the water reaches room temperature. Then he has to draw the graph of those temperature readings against time, called as 'Newton's cooling curve'. A pretty simple and straight forward experiment.

        I engrossed myself into the work that I had to do. I took the water in container, boiled it to its boiling point, turned the stove off and waited as the water cooled. I took first reading as 100 at 0 minute. I also had to stir the water to obtain uniform cooling. So for next 20 minutes or so, my job was simple. - To keep stirring the water and take temp-reading every minute. Another 15-20 minutes passed. I was singing and whistling happily. Everything was going fine. Just couple more readings and I was through. At the same time something unexpected happened.

        A girl came to the wash basin near me to wash the apparatus. She was the hottest girl in the college. I couldn't resist to look at her. She also looked at me and gave me a killer smile. I couldn't believe it. She didn't know me, yet she gave me a smile. A hottest girl in the college just gave me a smile. In that euphoria, something went wrong.

        In an attempt to return her smile, I stirred wrongly. The stirrer hit the container causing it tumble down on the ground. The water spilled over on the ground. I stood there in frustration. Then I lifted the container, filled it with fresh water and started boiling it again. I had started my experiment all over again, - an experiment that was almost finished. It was just 5 minutes remaining. I took couple of readings and heard the bell ringing.

        The time was up and I was supposed to move over to do my next experiment. I didn't know what to do as I hadn't finished my first experiment. I wave of panic went through my spine. I continued what I was doing. Following minute, a guy who was supposed to take my place appeared. From his attire, he looked sincere and studious. He looked at me expectantly, hoping that I could vacate the place for him.

I said, “ I am not done yet.”.

        He looked confused. “But time is up. You have to leave. All the others have started doing their second experiment.” He was right. But I didn't know what to do. At that time an idea struck my mind.

        “Listen bro. This experiment takes a hell lot of time. I have done almost half the experiment. You continue from here and we will share each other's readings,” said I. I knew it was a bizarre idea but I had to give it a try. It was the board exam. The stakes were high.

        He looked confused and worried. “But....” He looked around for help from examiner who had just left for tea.

        Taking advantage of the situation I presses him. “It's up to you. But if you don't agree to share things, then I will have no option but to continue with experiment. I can't help.”

He took few minutes to contemplate. I could see expressions of helplessness on his face. “Okay. Give me your first readings and I will continue from there. When I'm through I will share my readings with you,” He spoke.

        “Sounds perfect,” was my eager reply. I shared my readings with him, packed my belongings and rose to leave. I even gave him a warm smile as I left for my next experiment. I wondered if this smile was better than the smile I gave to that girl who caused all this fiasco.

        I went to the table where I was supposed to do my next experiment. It was done by the same guy whom I had exchanged my first experiment. It was a simple experiment of Ohm's law. What one needed to do was to draw a circuit diagram, connect circuit as per the diagram, take readings, do simple calculations, draw result and conclusion. Pretty simple and quick one. When I looked at the circuit board, it was already connected.

        That guy who performed the experiment before me had not dismantled it. I debated over whether or not dismantle the circuit and connect it again. My mind voted against the idea. So I decided simply to check the circuit. It was a pretty good circuit, perfectly accurate. I started drawing the circuit diagram. I was too lazy to use my brain to draw it. So I simply drew it looking at the circuit connections.

        Why use your brain when someone intelligent has already used his?

        I was even tempted to use the readings that I had mugged up from my journal in case things went wrong. But I thought it might feel me very guilty.

        I don't know why I thought that the guilt of using known readings was more than the guilt of using already built circuit.

        Then I took readings and did calculations using a simple formula. They were perfect. I wrote down results and conclusion on my sheet. It took me hardly 5-7 minutes to finish the experiment. I had 25-30 minutes left and I wondered what to do in that time. It was only then I remembered about my first unfinished experiment.

        I opened my sheet of first experiment. There were two sets of readings. First set of readings which I had almost finished. Second set of readings which I had barely started. I thought for a while and realized that I didn't have to start the experiment all over again. It was matter of just couple of last readings which I could have easily predicted from the nature of graph. Besides the readings needn't be accurate. There were no calculations involved but only a graph which I knew the nature of. I decided to finish the paperwork of first experiment based on my first set of readings.

        I wrote remaining readings of that set guessing what they would be and drew a graph. It was smooth and perfect. I wrote the conclusion. Again it took me 5-7 minutes to finish the paperwork of first experiment. And there I was, ready with both the experiments and 20 minutes left.

Wondering how to kill the remaining time, I started looking around me. At the same time, the examiner entered the hall. He was back from his tea break. He spotted me, sitting idle and looking around. He approached me.

        “Need any help?” He asked me in a low voice. He probably thought I was stuck with something.

“Oh, no. I am good. I am through with both the experiments,” I replied.

He looked at me suspiciously. Maybe I didn't look bright enough to finish so early. He browsed my sheets. With a smile he said, “Excellent. Why don't you submit your sheets and leave? No point in waiting. Go home and study for next exam.”

        “Fine,” I said and rose. I submitted my sheets, collected my belongings and started walking out of the hall. As I reached the door, the guy who was doing 'Newton's law' spotted me and stopped me.

        “What happened?” There was a mixture of worry and confusion on his face.

        “I am done and I'm leaving.”

        “What do you mean by done? Don't you want my readings?” He whispered.

        “No. I have finished both the experiments.”

        It took him couple of seconds to realize what I was saying. He looked at me suspiciously. Then slowly he said, “okay. But I can still use the readings that you gave me?”

        “Yes, sure.” I said. He sighed with relief.

        “Thanks buddy. In fact you were right. This is a big experiment. I couldn't have possibly done it alone. Your idea of sharing the experiment and readings were good,” he said.

        “Anytime,” I replied, trying to sound cool. Then I turned to leave.

        “By the way, can we stay closer for Chem practicals too? Maybe we could do some sharing there as well.” He was obsessed with idea of sharing things, I concluded.

        “Why not? See you tomorrow at Chem lab,” said I with a mischievous smile and left the lab.

A Kiss

“What? You kissed a girl in public?”

“Yes.”

“Wow! That’s great.”

“What’s great in it? She slapped me after that. Then and there. It all happened because of you.”

“What? That’s ridiculous! How come it happened because of me?”

“You told me to kiss her.”

“Yeah. But I didn’t say to kiss her in public.”

“You never mentioned anything about where to kiss her. How am I supposed to know?”

“God! You are supposed to use your brain. C’mon! Who kisses a girl in public in India?”

“Richard Gare did. Mika kissed Rakhi in public. They both did it on camera.”

“Yeah. But they are celebrities. They do it to boost their popularity. When they do it, it becomes sensation. When guys like you and I do it, they get slapped.”

“Okay………. Now I feel awful.”

“Don’t worry. Tell me in detail what happened.”

“As you told me, I asked her out for lunch. She agreed. We went downstairs in the canteen. We were standing in a food coupon line. She was standing ahead of me. I asked her to turn around and when she did, I kissed her.”

“My God! You are a one audacious bastard. You kissed a girl in a canteen full of people?”

“Yes. Then she slapped me and strode upstairs. I stood their alone for some time. All people in canteen were looking at me. Then I went upstairs too. She hasn’t spoken to me since then. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Hmmmm…………..Good question. Did you try to talk to her?”

“Yes. She wouldn’t respond. People in her cubical started looking at me strangely. Then I left.”

“Hmmmm…………..I wouldn’t blame them. Now do as I say. Ping her on chat and apologize to her. And this time don’t use your brain. Do exactly as I say. You will ping her and first thing you will do is to ask her apology.”

“She tastes great.”

“What?”

“She tastes great. When I kissed her I noticed that her lips are luscious.”

“Dude……..You are not supposed to say that.”

“Why not? You are my best friend.”

“Hmm……Okay….Thanks. I am flattered. Now do as I told you and let me know what happens. Bye”

“Bye.”

*********************************

“Hello.”

“I apologized to her.”

“Good. What did she say?”

“She said a lot of things. I didn’t understand much of it. But I think she didn’t like that I kissed her in canteen. She scolded me very much. But in the end she forgave me.”

“That’s great.”

“Yeah! Then I asked her if I could kiss her in private.”

“Gosh! What?”

“Yeah”

“But I clearly told you not to use your brain.”

“Yeah, you did. But I didn’t know what to say to her after she forgave me. You didn’t tell me that. So I asked her about this and she agreed.”

“What? What did you just say?”

“She agreed?”

“Do you mean that she agreed to let you kiss her privately?”

“Yes.”

“Un-freaking-believable. Are you sure you pinged her and not someone else?”

“Dude…………………?”

“Okay…….Okay…….”

“So she is coming to my house this weekend.”

“That’s.................…...great.”

“Now I want to know what I am supposed to do and how I am supposed to do it.”

“Hmmmm……...”

“So tell me how I should go ahead with this.”

“Well……..Honestly, I think we should go by your instincts.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you should trust your instincts. This time we will not have any plan. You will do exactly what you feel like doing from your inside at that time.”

“It sounds kind of cool.”

“It IS cool.”

“But are you sure about trusting my instincts?”

“Very much. I am damn sure you can do it.”

“Thanks buddy. You are my best friend. I love you.”

“You bet I am……Just let me know what happens. Bye.”

“Bye.”

*********************************

“Hello.”

“Dude, I pulled it off.”

“That’s wonderful! Tell me. Start from the beginning.”

“As promised she came over to my place on Sunday afternoon. Then we talked, we watched TV, I showed her my DVD collection, we listened to songs. Then we decided to have tea. She prepared it. Tea was nice. She prepared tea daily. She also told me her secret recipe of preparing tea. You have to pour milk before water and…………”

“God… Skip the recipe.”

“Okay. Yeah. So after tea, we were seated in silence. Then I moved closer to her. She didn’t say anything. Then I took her hand in my hand. She didn’t protest. After a minute or two I leaned over her and as I was about to kiss her, damn door opened and my parents entered into the room.”

“What the ****?”

“That’s exactly what I said in my mind. I had completely forgotten that my parents were to visit me this Sunday evening.”

“Then what happened?”

“They were standing still, looking at us strangely. Before they could ask me anything and before I could understand what I was saying, I blurted out that I was proposing to her.”

“WHAT?”

“You heard me. This is what happens to me when I get nervous.”

“Then?”

“Then I knelt down and I proposed to her. I told her that I loved her very much and that I wanted to marry her. And guess what? She said yes.”

“O My God! That’s unbelievable and amazing and incredible.”

“Indeed, it is.”

“I just can’t believe that you got engaged to her.”

“Me neither. But it’s true.”

“So how do you feel?”

“I feel light and relaxed. I feel like I am the happiest person in the world.”

“That’s great. So what happened next?”

“As soon as she said yes, my parents clapped, came over to us and hugged us. Then we decided to go out to celebrate. We first went to jewelry shop and bought us engagement rings. Then we went to pizza hut. Boy! Pizza was delicious. They have different variety of……….”

“Yeah, I have been there. Cut it off.”

“Okay. Then we watched a movie, dropped her off at her place and came back to my place.”

“Hmmmm…….”

“On the way to pizza hut, I told her that the idea of kissing was yours.”

“What? You were not supposed to tell her that. Now she must be mad at me.”

“No, she isn’t. In fact she thinks that it’s the idea of kissing that brought us together. So she said she was grateful to you.”

“That’s fantastic. I am happy for both of you.”

“Thanks buddy. It all happened because of your help. You are my best friend. In fact, you are my bro.”

“Hahahahaha……That’s right. We are bros.”

“So where do you think I should go for my honeymoon?”

“O God! I am hanging the phone. Go to bed. Bye.”

“Hahahaha……..Goodnight bro.”

The End

*********************************

A KISS

(a fictionist, conversational, short story)

© All Rights Reserved.

The Crush

     The final bell rang and students started packing their bags. The school was over for the day and everyone was ready to enjoy their weekend. Avril sat on his bench, unmoved, looking at the young, beautiful teacher. She is so beautiful, he thought.

     “You must prepare your spellings until Monday,” the teacher, Miss Kathy, said in a raised voice. She attempted to reach every student amidst the after-school chaos.

      “Oh no,” There was an unapproved roar from students as they left the classroom hurriedly. Avril made no attempt to move. He was lost in his reverie about Miss Kathy.

      “Aren't you going home, Avril?” Miss Kathy asked.

      Avril felt embarrassed as he was caught dreaming. He stood up, opened his pencil box and took out a ring. He clutched it in his fist and held his hand back. He walked over to the teacher's table. Miss Kathy was busy packing her belongings. She looked up. Avril was standing across the table.

      “Yes Avril,” She smiled.

      She looks even more beautiful when she smiles, Avril thought. “Miss, I have something for you,” there was little stutter in his voice.

      “Yes, what is it Avril?” she looked amused.

      Avril pulled out his hand and opened his fist.

      “Wow, that's beautiful.” She took the ring and slipped it onto her finger. She smiled warmly. “Thank you Avril. It's so sweet of you.”

      Avril started to say something but was stopped by Kathy's words.

      “Now, I have to leave, Avril,” she said. “Have a nice weekend.”

      “You too, miss.”

      “and don't forget to prepare your spellings. There is a test on Monday.” she said. Avril watched as she left the classroom. Then he slowly walked toward his bench.

      Avril was a 10 year old boy studying in second grade. He liked his English teacher, Miss Kathy very much. She was lovely and friendly. She smiled a lot. He had heard senior boys in his school talking about crush and love. I have a crush on her, little Avril thought.

      At the dinner table, Avril was once again lost in his reverie. He didn't take part the conversation his parents were having. Suddenly he asked his mother, “Mom, what's the minimum age for marriage?”

      “Eighteen, I suppose,” said his mother looking at him suspiciously. “Why would you ask?”

      “Nothing, it's just.......,” Avril had no intention of opening his feelings about miss Kathy to his parents.

      “Do you have some news for us?” asked his father mischievously.

      “Not yet,” said Avril, smiling.

      After dinner, Avril went into his study room. He opened the drawer of his study table and pulled out his planner notebook. He opened the page where important reminders were scribbled. On the fresh page he wrote, 'Marry Miss Kathy when you turn eighteen.' Satisfied, he smiled to himself.

      The following Sunday, Avril's family went to shopping. Avril loved shopping. He liked watching beautiful things kept in the showcases of roadside shops. Occasionally his mother would buy him a toy too. But today he didn't want a toy. He wanted to buy cowboy shoes. He had seen senior students wearing them. Cowboy shoes will make me look cool, Avril thought. He wanted to impress Miss Kathy. He stepped outside the shop wearing cowboy shoes. As soon as he was out on the road he saw Missy Kathy coming out of nearby shop. His face lit with happiness.

      “Hello Avril,” Miss Kathy said cheerfully. “Enjoying your weekend, uh?” She looked stunning in her casual attire.

      Avril kept looking at her as she spoke with his mother.

      “There you are, darling,” said a young man as he approached Kathy and kissed her.

      “Where had you been Jacob? I have been looking for you in shops,” said Kathy coaxing him. Then she turned to Avril and his mother. “Meet my finance, Jacob. And Jocob this is my second grade............”

Avril felt as though someone had hit a blow in his stomach. He noticed that Miss Kathy was not wearing the ring he had given her. Instead she was wearing an engagement ring. It's over, Avril thought.

      “Bye Avril,” Miss Kathy said as she walked away, her boyfriend's hand around her.

      She didn't even notice my new cowboy shoes. And that boyfriend of her doesn't suit her at all.

Avril spent next couple of days trying to forget Kathy. He tried not to think about her. But the harder he tried, more difficult it became. He tried not to speak to her in class. But she would ask questions to Avril. He was not able to concentrate on anything. It seemed his brain had been engrossed by her thoughts.

      One day after the class, Avril confronted his teacher. “Don't marry him,” Avril had no idea what he was saying.

      “Excuse me,” there was a look of complete surprise on Miss Kathy's face.

      “Don't marry him. He's not good for you. I will marry you when I turn eighteen,” blurted Avril.

      Now she understood what it was all about. The look of surprise on her face was replaced by an amusing smile. “Avril, these are things of grownup people. You won't understand.”

      Avril didn't know what more to say to convince her. “Please miss.....”

      “It's so sweet of you to say that, Avril,” she started packing her bag. “But Jacob is a good person. Besides you are just 10. I'm sure you will get a nice girl when you are ready.” She patted on Avril's cheek and walked out of the classroom.

      Following day, Jacob was seated in his car waiting for his fiancee outside her school. He heard a knock on the car door-glass. It was Avril. Surprised, Jacob lowered the glass and said, “Hey little fella, what's up?”

      “Leave her alone,” Avril's voice was determined.

      “Leave whom alone?” Jacob could not figure out what Avril was saying.

      “Leave Miss Kathy alone. Don't marry her. You are not good for her. I'm going to marry her when I turn eighteen.”

      There was a snicker on Jacob's face.

      “Don't laugh. I mean it,” said Avril, slowly but firmly.

      “That can't happen buddy,” Jacob was getting amused with the conversation. “It's already decided. We're engaged.” Jacob made no attempt to hide his snicker.

      “Then I must fight with you. Tomorrow. After school. Inside basketball court. Bring your gun,” said Avril in a voice firmer than ever.

      “It's a date Sir,” said Jacob. He couldn't have asked for better entertainment. “May the best man .......err..or boy win,” said Jacob, smiling.

      Without a word, Avril picked up his schoolbag and walked away.

      The following evening, Jacob was waiting for Kathy in his car, completely oblivious to what had happened yesterday. The car door opened and Kathy stepped in. They kissed. As Jacob was about to start the engine, he heard the knock. The moment Jacob saw Avril, he was reminded of their date. He smiled. The second episode of his entertainment had begun. He hadn't expected Avril to show up. He lowered the glass.       “Seems you have taken this seriously,” said Jacob.

      “Let's go,” was Avril's only reply.

      For a moment Jacob thought of persuading Avril to forget the date and go home. But the temptation of entertainment won and he said, “Sure.”

      “Go where? What's going on here?” Kathy demanded. She had no idea of the date of two men.

      “Nothing honey, I will be back in a minute.” Jacob did not bother to explain. He stepped out of the car and started walking toward the basketball court, anticipating more fun.

      The two men reached their destination. “Here we are little man,” said Jacob smugly. “Now what do you want me to do?”

      “Have you brought your gun?” asked Avril.

      “Gun? Are we playing some kind of shooting game?” Jacob waved his hands in air, sounding to be cool. “Look dude, I have no time for this schoolboy stuff. I'm getting late. Just tell me what.......” Jacob stood wide mouth as he saw Avril pulling out a gun from his schoolbag. “That's fake, isn't it?” said Jacob, looking anxious.

      “It's real.” It was Avril's turn to sound cool.

      “No. It can't be real. Where would you get a real gun?” said Jacob raising his hands as Avril pointed the gun toward him.

      “My father is in Police. I stole it from his cupboard.”

      “Look kid, whatever it is, put that thing down.” Jacob was getting little annoyed. “We can always talk like two descent men.” His hands were still raised.

      “No. First promise me you won't marry Miss Kathy.”

      At that time, Kathy appeared in the court door. She was standing some distance behind the Avril. There was a look of completed disbelief on her face after she saw what was happening.

      “I can't,” Jacob said as he tried to control his anger. “This is no time to play pranks. Put that damn thing down.” He turned to Kathy. “Step ahead and taking that freaking gun from the kid,” he yelled at Kathy.

      “No miss. Don't step ahead and you mister, don't yell at her,” Avril's voice was surprisingly cool. He held the gun firmly in his hand pointing toward Jacob. He unlocked the safety pin and put his finger on the trigger.

      “Avril, listen to me. Put that gun down. Otherwise it will go in your report,” said Kathy stepping ahead. She was still in disbelief. She could not sink in what was happening.

      “No. He must promise me that he won't marry you,” said Avril, unmoved and unblinking.

      “okay. I won't marry her. You can have her. I never wanted to marry her. I just wanted to sleep with her which is why I got engaged to her,” blurted Jacob. He was trembling with fear. “I never loved her and I have no interest in her....”

      Kathy could not believe what she was hearing. He never loved me. He had no interest in me. He just wanted to sleep with me.

      “.....you can have her,” Jacob was saying. “Who wants to be with a girl having a ten year old boy as her boyfriend. A stupid bitch”

      As soon as Avril heard the last word from Jacob, he lost his temper. He pulled the trigger. In fraction of a second, the bullet hit Jacob's chest and he collapsed on the ground. Kathy stood stock-still, unable to move. Avril was cool and smiling. For a moment, there was pin drop silence. The next moment, they heard a small plastic ball rolling on the floor. Jacob clutched his chest to see any trace of blood. There was none. It took him some time to realize that it was the plastic ball and not a bullet that was fired from the gun. Relieved, he stood up with an impulse and started to walk toward Avril.

      “Don't you dare to touch him, you son of a bitch.” Kathy roared to Jacob. Jacob stopped. Kathy's eyes were blazing. “You just wanted to sleep with me and I thought you loved me.” She was shocked with Jacob's revelation.

      Jacob made no attempt to talk to Kathy. He picked up his hat. “Go to hell, you two bloody freaking idiots,” he said and stormed out of the court.

      “Thanks Avril for opening my eyes,” Kathy said. “You were right. He isn't good for me. Now let's go.”

      “So you are going to put this in my school report?”

      “umm...Let's just keep this between us,” said Kathy as they walked out of the court. There was a smile on their faces. A smile of achievement. A smile of satisfaction. A smile of affection.

The End

Category - fiction